Housewife syndrome

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    I’ve gotten really comfy since we moved out of town a few years ago. I feel safe and at peace out at our place like I never did when we lived in town. I’m out here much of the time with just the dog or the kids and I’ve never felt threatened in a way I couldn’t handle. The worst intrusions I’ve had was a kid of questionable character who wanted to come play with my kids, and a college age salesman guy who somehow thought a quarter mile of bad driveway looked inviting. I was able to turn both around with nothing more than firm words. Other things that bother me get shot, poisoned, boiled, or run over with the lawnmower. You can’t do that with things that bother you in town.

    I don’t have a ‘job’. All my time is eaten up by taking care of my immediate family, developing and running a food-producing homestead, and managing my mom’s stuff. I’d say that about 95% of my human contact is my sons and husband. I don’t watch news or TV unless there’s major elections or a hurricane coming. I’m sheltered in my own little world, mostly, going about my business without outside interference or unpleasantness.

    Lately, I’ve had to spend more time in town than usual to deal with selling my mom’s house for her. I’ve been in an empty house with contractors (men) both polite and questionable. I’m not exactly ugly, and that’s all I mean to say. It makes me nervous sometimes, dealing with men who are not family inside a closed space.

    I am na├»ve and sheltered these days, and I know it. I find myself wondering if I’m slightly psychotic sometimes when I get strange vibes from workmen. I wonder if I’m paranoid and just don’t know how to deal with people anymore, or if there really is something to that ‘gut’ feeling occasionally.

    My problem is, I seem to have only two ways to deal with people. Either I’m kind and generous to a fault, or I’m cold, harsh and offensive. I don’t know how to do ‘normal’ anymore, apparently.

    I think I’ve fallen into housewife syndrome. I’ve become so involved in my own sphere of influence out here where I’m allowed to be queen of my domain that it takes me a jarring moment of mental readjustment to deal with people in town. Rude people, dangerous people, people who just don’t care about anything, they all take some adjusting to now.

    I used to know how to deal with that, I think. Not so much anymore.

    I’m afraid I’ve lost my people skills and have become accustomed to having things go the way I think they should go. Life isn’t all a bowl of cherries and I still have to deal with financial worries,mom’s health issues, and predators wanting to eat my food, aka livestock.

    Sure, I could join an organization just for the sake of socialization, but I just don’t have the desire, time, or energy. Not enough hours in the day as it is.

    Does anyone feel the same? Have you moved out of town to your dream ‘stead and become so busy developing your place that you just don’t have the time for people anymore? Has living ‘out there’ changed your perspective on humanity and made the sheeple seem even more sheeple-ish to you? Would you rather plug your ears with chicken poo than listen to society ladies talk about their latest yoga class? I promise you, moving out here has changed me. I don’t even spend as much time with family anymore. I love them, but they’re townies. They don’t talk about and think about and do things that I can relate to anymore.

    Is this a sort of honeymoon period for me, where I’m decompressing from a lifetime of town life and socialization and I’m relishing the wallow in what feels to me like wild, earthy solitude? Will I come around and someday want to deal with ‘people’ again? Somehow I don’t think that people who are born and raised rural feel like this. I think it’s a particular neurosis of mine because I’m sort of new out here. I think the hubby and kids are staying on a more even keel because they have school and work to toss them out there with the general population. I’m just a housewife/farmer. I don’t get out much anymore and I don’t want to. I feel like a yard dog who barks at anything that dares enter my territory uninvited.

    In town, if somebody knocked on the door, I answered cautiously, but with a smile. Not here. If I’m not expecting company and they didn’t come on a 4-wheeler, I’m thinking about the shotgun. My good neighbor came to visit on his 4-wheeler pulling a trailer full of stall muck and a horse placenta. I heard the 4-wheeler coming and looked out the window, then ran outside to ask him about the new colt. He was nice enough to give me the placenta for my compost pile. Good man.

    If anyone else has experienced anything like this social disassociation, did you just accept the change? Did you force yourself to start socializing? Is there something about owning a few acres instead of being 12 feet away from your neighbors that makes you jealously cherish your newfound privacy and solitude?

    Am I crazy now? :crazy:

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