how to speak about the opposite sex

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    Whisper
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    how to speak about the opposite sex in a POLITICALLY CORRECT way

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    She is not a BABE or a CHICK; she is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

    She is not DUMB; she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

    She has not BEEN AROUND; she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

    She is not an AIR HEAD; she is REALITY IMPAIRED.

    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY; she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

    She is not HORNY; she is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

    She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS; she is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

    She does not NAG YOU; she becomes ORALLY REPETITIVE.

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    He does not have a BEER GUT; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
    FACILITY.

    He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME; he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
    DESTINATIONS.

    He is not BALDING; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

    He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

    He does not act like a TOTAL ASS; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
    INVERSION.

    He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG; he has SWINE EMPATHY.

    He is not afraid of COMMITMENT; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

    He is not QUIET; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.

    He is not STUPID; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.

    He is not SHORT; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.

    He does not EAT LIKE A PIG; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.

    He does not HOG THE BLANKETS; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.

    He doesn’t have a DIRTY MIND; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.

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