My not so humble walking stick

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  • #20220
    hazmat
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    Living in the UK, using anything more than harsh language at a person is an arrestable offence but I’ve been on two walking sticks for 6 years (knackered old git) and rolled once in that time.
    So I got hold of a copy of “Stick Defence” on scribd.com and practiced every day beating the hell out of my old kit bag. It has finally paid off. 6 months of practice and a few days ago I successfully “beat” off two street muggers. The youngsters (late teens) surprised me and jumped out from a bush in front and behind me demanding my wallet.
    The fight went:-
    Strike one, Mouthy git in front of me, to the side of his left knee and he went down howling.
    Strike two, a reverse bayonet stab with the stick into the stomach of the muppet behind me. He went down gasping for breath.
    Strike three, the first guy tried to stand up so I dinged his right knee this time.
    Then for some reason muppet ran off and the mouthy one dragged himself behind the bush.
    Just as I was getting warmed up. So, bored now (and a bit flustered), I went home.
    I haven’t told the police and not going to as they will probably charge me with assault but I thought you’d all enjoy a story with a happy ending.

    The moral of this story is NEVER underestimate the power of the humble ash walking stick and the need for practice BEFORE the main event. 😀

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