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Housewife syndrome

For all the lady preppers out there

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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby Blondie » Fri Jun 27, 2014 7:00 pm

While I'm not a hermit I do like my solitude when I need it. I've done the party life, dance clubs until dawn. That was fine in my 20's and had it's place but now I enjoy a more peaceful personal life.

I work insanely busy days and the interaction I have with people in person, on the phone, co workers, etc....everyone "needs" something. It's emotionally exhausting after a 8-10 hr day.

What is missing is quality interaction. Talking to people who actually have an opinion and have read a newspaper lately. People who mean what they say, live their life with a strategy and are capable instead of needy would be refreshing.

Heck, a man who can make his own pot of coffee at 5am would be refreshing! :p
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby arkieready » Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:26 pm

I've lived here on my acreage for more than 25 years. I do not like having people just pull up in my drive. I try to always meet people at the driveway. My house is my refuge.
Maybe weird, I don't really give a rip. My place, my life.
It's already been said, trust your gut. If you are wrong "silly, nervous me". If you are right.......
P!

Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.

--Robert Frost--
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby TaffyJ » Sat Jun 28, 2014 9:18 am

Thank you, Arkie

I suppose if you're that way after 25 years I probably will be too.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby PatrioticStabilist » Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:04 pm

My husband and I aren't much on socializing. We both enjoy being home, I love having him here. We have been working our tails off, adding to our driveway and making it more useable. Also today he helped me shuck 12 dozen ears of corn and that made 30 containers for the freezer.

We enjoy the country and we enjoy each others company. I hate to think of the day something happens to one of us, will make the other more of a hermit I would imagine.

I was raised to not bother your neighbors, they were there in an emergency and you help them if they need it. My folks adage was don't go wearing out your welcome anywhere. Hubby and I are rather solitary creatures.

We plan to add an alarm on our drive so we can tell if someone is driving up. The only thing I don't like here is the fact we cannot see who is driving up. No window on that side unless we go into the master bathroom and look out. Neither of us like that. We have only been here about a year and are going to run a fence across the front and automatic gates like our last house when we get time to put it in.

Yes, we like our solitude also.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby Cin » Sat Jun 28, 2014 7:31 pm

After years of living in the military fishbowl and answering to someone else, which we did on purpose because of our long term goals, and some civilian business time, too, Husband and I retired to the country.

We like it here. We're friends with all the neighbors, but no one bothers anyone. If we need help, none of us feel uncomfortable asking for it from all our neighbors (except one). We've helped neighbors dig out of snow, given food and water, shared fish, meat, produce and plants, and watch each other's places and animals when one is gone, sometimes for long periods of time.

Husband and I can go a week without seeing anyone. All our neighbors are working on their properties, but not at the same time. Several folks travel at specific times, so we know to keep an eye out for strangers. Everyone watches out for everyone else, but no one gets up in your business.

We go to town once a week, and try not to the rest of the week. We drive to the big city once every month or so, and breathe a huge sigh of relief when we're home.

If your hackles are going up and you're getting a bad vibe - PAY ATTENTION. Cops do seminars on why people get attacked, especially women and they say 9 times out of 10, the woman mentions she got a bad vibe and ignored it, because we are taught from the cradle to give folks a chance and to be peacemakers.

Yeah, we could be hermits...LOL
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby TaffyJ » Sun Jun 29, 2014 10:49 pm

So. Much. Alike. Gosh, this is almost eerie. Except, we haven't bothered to fix our driveway. I like it to appear uninviting. I want people to hear banjos playing and not wish to come back here.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby LadyDreamer » Mon Jun 30, 2014 1:16 am

I guess we all were cut from the same cloth. We live at present in suburb of a good sized town near a big city , and I'm not that comfortable. I like people for the most part and can talk alot and to strangers but I do enjoy my solitude. Being raised on military bases stateside and overseas you learn to adapt and take care of yourselves. You would be suprised the looks I've gotten when I told people that we lived roughly six yrs, without a phone or that up until 2003 we only had one car or that we didn't get a cell phone until 2004. Even tho' we don't live in the country I have to gear myself up to go shopping-food or have vistors. I think when the time comes, we'll fit right in ;) you do need to keep in touch, so I do make that effort. I enjoy it when I do but releived when I'm home or my company has left. We love the woods and have dreamed of the time we could get away. One thing that does cause some thought, when tshtf after a bit people will have to, well, get together for the sake of the next generations, we can't get too withdrawn. There has to be same contact.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby pastornator » Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:01 am

All the best people hang out at the feed mill, bait & taclke shop, or farm & barn store... :thumbup:
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby ohiofarmer » Mon Jun 30, 2014 10:18 am

pastornator wrote:All the best people hang out at the feed mill, bait & taclke shop, or farm & barn store... :thumbup:



You forgot to add - the Dinner for breakfast and lunch and the corner store where we get gas and beer. Farmer
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby independentlurker » Mon Jun 30, 2014 11:00 am

Taffy,My husband and I both have separate businesses and we both work with the public. We have had numerous invites to parties and social events which we almost always decline. Most have given up on us. On weekends we have tons of paperwork, gardening, household chores and outside chores and we need to decompress , to take a break from people. It's a seasonal town we live in and we need to work hard in the summer because winters are always slow and income goes down.
I could easily become you if I had the chance. I hope to when we retire. Sometimes even my husband and I don't say more than a couple of words to each other in the evenings because we are so drained by people at the end of the day.
I think when you spend time outside,( gardening is my way to decompress), you revert back to nature and your animal instincts kick in and your senses heighten. Please don't think I am some kind of new age hippie type but I believe we all have an energy field . I have felt on numerous times uncomfortable with some people who stand too close. I want to move away. I'm sure I'm not alone. Some people seem to suck the energy right out of you. Anyway, after over 40 years of working with the public I have learned to trust my natural instincts, gut feelings, much more than the spoken work, which can be lies or flattery.
It sounds to me as if you feel that maybe something is wrong with your being antisocial. It is not unless it bothers you or your family. Solitary confinement though can mess with your mind. Too much aloneness makes me even more antisocial. Sometimes you need to get out and see people. It can feel awkward if it's been a long time, but I have a glass of wine , chills me right out. It can be fun especially if they have interests similar to yours. That's the problem I have. I have learned a lot from this site but another reason I get on here is not for more interaction with people but to talk with people with similar interests. I can talk to very few people I know about gardening and self sufficientcy and to no one about prepping. Certainly I disagree with lots of views on here and a lot have disagreed with mine, but people on here have a lot of things in common.
I think we were born in the wrong century. I do like my modern conveniences though.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby TaffyJ » Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:39 pm

Pastornator, one store I will linger at is the feed mill/store. They've got an organic section and a youngish guy who knows all about the what's and whys of the organic stuff. Plus, the feed store just smells good and they sell seeds by the scoop, and baby peeps! What's not to love?

I think I rely on my family for socialization. With a house full of rowdy boys, it sometimes feels like too much socialization and I haven't even got out of bed yet. But I love them and can't complain much. They sure are handy to have around.

Luckily, the last of the contractors I had to deal with finished up today and I've only got some painting to do before I can walk away from moms house in town and let the realtor handle it from there. I feel better painting in a room by myself and just yelling at the boys occasionally when it sounds like they're trying to break something. When I'm done perfecting this house for market I'm so very outta there!! It seems the trick to dealing with chatty contractors is to look terribly busy and not happy to be interrupted.

My geese are noisier than a walmart checkout line on July 1st, but they are much cuter and less dangerous. I'd rather sit in the goose pen and be chewed upon by evening gnats than go to town tomorrow.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby Senah » Sun Jul 06, 2014 10:45 pm

Hmmm...I've traveled a lot since I was a teenager (alone, and a woman) and whenever I was in different countries/cities/towns I found it to be very exciting. I was careful (not careless at any rate) and didn't have any major troubles. I really loved meeting so many people - very different than myself and some trustworthy and some not, but it was very important to me to be on my own and just take life as it came for a few years.

On the other hand my mother lives in a little house in the backwoods and doesn't really interact with anyone except nature and she loves it. She can interact with people when she has to and is charismatic, but chooses not to.

I guess my feeling is that no one should live their lives afraid. If we fear our neighbors and other people, it limits us as hunan beings. It also compromises the idea of community and how that operates. I think if we get into a rut, it is worth talking to friends/family/a counselor to try and get back on track. Life is too short to be afraid of new things.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby FussyOldHen » Sat Jul 26, 2014 2:15 pm

“I find myself wondering if I'm slightly psychotic sometimes when I get strange vibes from workmen. I wonder if I'm paranoid and just don't know how to deal with people anymore, or if there really is something to that 'gut' feeling occasionally.”

Your subconscious never sleeps. It’s always watching and paying attention. It has probably tried to warn you about things when you lived in town, and you just weren’t paying attention. You probably assumed that everyone was as honest and trustworthy as you. But now, you have time to think about things, you don’t have to listen to other people’s nonsensical verbal diarrhea. You can sit and pull weeds and think. You can pick peas and think. That’s not a bad thing, you know. Just think back to all the people you used to deal with regularly, who don’t think at all – you know, the ones who drive through crossing arms when they can clearly see a train is coming, and the ones who think stealing is only bad if you get caught.

America of the 50s and 60s is long gone. America is now a land of greedy, selfish, nasty, small-minded, conscienceless scumbags, and they seem to be the rule rather than the exception. If you get bad vibes from someone, pay attention! I overhead a woman in the grocery store telling someone that when she was having a new home built, she told the contractor not to send out the dregs of society or she would run them off with a shotgun. She said men tend to be more threatening to small women than tall women, which also may be true. Attitude may also have something to do with it. I have the feeling that men can read women better than women can read men.

“I promise you, moving out here has changed me. I don't even spend as much time with family anymore. I love them, but they're townies. They don't talk about and think about and do things that I can relate to anymore.

Everyone has their own agenda. Yours doesn’t have to be theirs, and vice versa.

“I fear that I will over-react someday to a perceived threat in a way that isn't socially acceptable.”

‘Socially acceptable’ is like political correctness, a way to control other people. You’ve learned to separate the BS from the bone. There are people who have all kinds of weird ideas that make no sense if you think about them. Some people think you shouldn’t kill someone who is in your house and coming at you with a gun and a knife. Some people think they should be able to control other people’s sex life, abortion decisions, food choices, etc. Many so-called religious people have mentally rewritten the Ten Commandments to suit themselves and their choices. What does this have to do with you? NOTHING.

IOW, if a person is in your home, threatening you, pull the trigger. To me (and many here), THAT is socially acceptable. If you are five feet nothing, and he’s 6’6”, I doubt that the law would even insist that he have a weapon. (I would check locally on this, but a man can kill a woman barehanded without a lot of effort.)

Actually, it sounds like you’ve smarted up some, and are paying more attention to the important things. Keep doing it.
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby TaffyJ » Sun Jul 27, 2014 12:44 am

Thanks, Fussy. You're right. I do feel I've 'smartened up' some, and I do spend more time thinking.

It takes 3 hours to mow out here, and while I'm doing it, my mind is on other things. I used to do my thinking while sitting on the porch swing drinking coffee. I don't do that so much anymore because if I try to sit on the porch in the morning, I can survey my domain all around me and I see the weeds here, or the plant that needs watering there, or that the turkeys are pacing in their pen waiting to be fed. So, the coffee gets set aside and I'm down the steps and elbow deep into it, still in my night clothes.

We took a road trip into Baton Rouge today, just to get out of the house and see something different. I wanted to go, but as I was getting out the door, I kept thinking about the fruit trees that I should have watered first, and other stuff I could have done. I could spend every waking moment outside and still not be done. Luckily it rained at home while we were gone, so the watering got done for me! :D

While in Baton Rouge, I was once again amazed at the masses of humanity and how close together people are willing to live. We had a nice time, but I was glad to get back home this evening. Urban busy-ness bothers me if I have to tolerate it for long, and Baton Rouge isn't even a large city. But hey, Baton Rouge has Olive Garden and Whole Foods and Cabelas. Nice place to visit, but...
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Re: Housewife syndrome

Postby WiseWoman » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:17 am

I feel the same. I don't care much for people & their drama. I prefer to be left alone.
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