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How to get family around you motivated

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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby tamtbell » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:11 pm

NJMike wrote:
tamtbell wrote:This has included target practice. I'm not so great at firearms, he is. I've asked him to name a date and time on the weekend when weather is nice and we will go shooting. Have yet to do it. Same goes for hunting and fishing. I've told him I have assigned him as the person to find out what we need for everything, especially since he works with both hunters and fishermen (I work with two ladies, one of which is a girlie girl, the other is a 70 yr old woman from the lower 48 both of which have no interest in any of that). Still nothing on that front either


On this situation, you can decide if you want to move yourself forward by re-assigning yourself the lead role to satisfy your needs. Perhaps it means you go shooting by yourself, or that you seek out hunting or fishing with someone else. I don't know the size of your community. If hubby works with hunters and fishermen, what do their spouses do? Maybe they hunt and fish too, and you can choose to widen your circle of contacts and friends.


I do have a girl friend that is super good at it, only issue is she homeschools so she typically goes hunting and takes her kids with her during the weekdays, not weekends when her hubby is home from work.
That has been the problem thus far. On Facebook we have a new group of interior preppers, many are women, I might see if I can't hang out with them this spring and summer.
For the moment we live in a day of peace, but it shall not ever be thus. Great trials lie ahead... and we must prepare ourselves temporally and spiritually.
~Bruce R. McConkie~
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby tamtbell » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:16 pm

NJMike, between my hubby and I (been married for 23 years now) I have always been the doer, the one with lots of ideas, I always find the solution to an issue. Hubby usually just stands over to the side and looks to me for "what do we do now?"
Maybe its the 20 some years he was in the military? Always used to someone giving him an order? However for me I don't order him, I just say "what would you think if you handle this one thing since I'm handling A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I and so on and so on"
For the moment we live in a day of peace, but it shall not ever be thus. Great trials lie ahead... and we must prepare ourselves temporally and spiritually.
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby DR1VENbyKNOWLEDGE » Tue Dec 05, 2017 4:35 pm

tamtbell wrote:
DR1VENbyKNOWLEDGE wrote:I'd love to offer constructive input here since its something I've had success with, but I dont think your situation the way you laid it out applies....It's going to be hard at least.

My wife didn't understand the need....That changed with what I showed to her and then she opened up a bit after a while but is still not 100%.(To my standards...lol...do we ever?)

If what I see is correct, I dont see anything changing(his outlook) without some personal loss to him that changes his mindset....



What I see from your OP....

You live in Alaska...That alone is a reason to prep.(Job loss potential/cost of living/climate)
He understands prepping...He understands there is a need for it....But still refuses to participate and puts it off on you???

I truly dont mean to sound crass or mean here but, you just described someone ignorant and/or lazy.....

Again, I dont mean to be insulting to your spouse but am I missing something possibly?

If not, I dont see a win there anywhere...You'd have to wear the pants in the family(Which is fine) but never expect help and understand the danger of someone in your group with that mindset after a SHTF event of any type....Dangerous....No matter the love for each other you have.

Denial of understood facts or a refusal to commit in the day(s) after an event resulting in delay of immediate action could get you/them killed.

If there is nothing you've left out this is one of those "It is what it is" situations and you choose to live with it and move forward even stronger picking up the workload of preps with your love for him knowing it will be all on you if it hits.

I think you already understand this and are posting out of frustration and care(Like I was at first, but I got lucky and my wife opened her eyes with our 1st born coming along) but I could be wrong...Did I miss something?


~D

I was going to respond actually last night but it would have been on my kindle and I hate typing on that thing. LOL. Hubby actually does accept the idea that its good to prep, and he even (FINALLY because his boss talked to him about it) believes that there might be things looming on the horizon (NK is the big one they talk about). The financial side of prepping he's agreed about for a while. The idea that one should have skills that would be useful during any sort of collapse or even just job loss just seems to go above his head. Or I should say he will agree in a "yes that is a good idea dear" type of manner. I guess I post this mostly in frustration. I don't know how to get him moving. The talking to coworkers about hunting/fishing bit I think is just because he hates talking to people and he really hates looking like he doesn't know something. He was invited last year to go on a caribou hunt and lo and behold he put up an excuse that I believed until I found out it was false but now after the fact. Sure the meat would've been nice, but even better would've been the experience he would have had! How much he could've learned on that trip.
Now a days I bring more meat home from work than he does LOL. I trade non stop with people since I raise meat rabbits, we have honey bees, and I make jams and jellies. So I come home quite often with all sorts of yummy stuff. So far hubby has said "no one at his work is interested in meat rabbits, or honey, or jams, or jellies, etc etc." I think it's just he doesn't feel comfortable with any of that.
As for other skills, I don't exactly know why he doesn't start on learning something. If I ask, even gently, he becomes defensive and then announces I can never stop and relax. (not true, I sit down and watch tv all the time, just only when all the other work is done)
So there it all is.



Got it. Much clearer now...

Yep, that's a tough one.

Sounds like you got yourself a case of the "Don't tell me what to do's" scenario....lol....I did too.

Anything I mentioned to my wife initially was met with defensiveness and sometimes even hostility as a reaction.....Don't know what I'd do without her. :rofl: ....Sincerely though. ;)

If your husband is opening up to it when boss-man talks, I'd encourage any other like-minded folk you 2 share in common to reach out to him. He might be more receptive and after he self-starts "Bring you into HIS fold" so to speak....All you do is sit back and support him and let him take the wheels when he does and BOOM, you got a prepping partner......The "Walk quietly with a big stick" approach.

Sometimes it takes an outsider to open someones mind.

It's like with shooting....You are WAY better off sending someone to a class for first-time gun familiarity and shooting then a spouse teaching them how to shoot. They are more receptive and their guard is down with an open mind vs any biases that person may have even subliminally effecting the instruction.....EVEN if I'm a shooting instructor when it came to my wife...lol.

My wife really became open minded when her Dad had mentioned to me in front of her how proud of me he was for taking care of her so thoroughly and talked about some prepping....I really think that was it along with our first born(Maternal instinct) coming along, and some "Extra curricular" activities I've started in working with certain 3 letter acronyms(Civilian/Gov interaction programs) that has given me access to daily lower level semi-classified briefings group training sessions.(I'm allowed to share some things, but not all)

Things tend to have a bit of extra extra weight of credibility with a certain "seal" at the top of it even if her husband told her these things were happening for years before that....lol....Go figure but regardless I'm glad she's on board now.

On you're husbands bosses comments, all I can tell you due to non-disclosure agreement specifics is that he's more right than you know(Or maybe you do know) and it's growing fast...VERY fast.....It's a great time to be a prepper is what I'm stating and the quicker your husband gets on board the better.....****Not trying to be alarmist here. These are facts.....The attacks involving cyber-penetration into our critical infrastructure is no secret...The depth, success and frequency are.

It's good to see things like this popping up with rapid acceleration now pushing info.....They're not accelerating this info for no good reason. ;)
https://www.fema.gov/pdf/areyouready/areyouready_full.pdf See Part #4

https://www.dhs.gov/how-do-i/prepare-my-family-disaster

https://www.ready.gov/get-involved

https://www.infragard.org/

https://www.energy.gov/oe/services/energy-assurance/emergency-preparedness/community-guidelines-energy-emergencies

https://obamawhitehouse.archives.gov/the-press-office/2013/02/12/presidential-policy-directive-critical-infrastructure-security-and-resil

https://www.dhs.gov/homeland-security-presidential-directive-7

Maybe these links will help with your husband but he might not be AS receptive if it comes from you like it was in my case at first.(about 6 years)...lol.

Best of luck to you for now tamtbell....Very nice meeting you and Merry Christmas to you and your family. :wave:

~D


.
In honor of RebNavy...RIP buddy. You made me smile. :)

Postby rebnavy1862 » Fri Apr 07, 2017 4:00 pm
Driven, are you sure you are from Kalifornia? You make a lot of sense.
Reb"Then call us Rebels if you will, we glory in the name, for bending under unjust laws and swearing faith to an unjust cause, we count as greater shame". Richmond Daily Dispatch May 12 1862
Semper Fi, Sic Semper Tyrannis, Remember The Alamo, and Aide'toi et Dieu T'aidera!
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby tamtbell » Tue Dec 05, 2017 5:30 pm

Thanks D. Actually prior to my hubby working with his old boss some 2 years ago I really think my hubby thought I had some screws loose. He wasn't overly thrilled on spending money on food that was going into storage, only to be seen again later when we did an inventory of it or what not but he loved me enough to say "okay, this is what it'll take to make her happy, some women want diamonds, I wanted rice and beans" LOL
So his old boss was a HUGE prepper, in fact, imho, he was so devoted to it that he forgot to nurture his own everyday life which caused his divorce. He's no longer with the company hubby works with, his life has fallen apart. BUT, he was totally open with hubby and telling him just about every single thing in his book that would cause the collapse of the US. I can't tell you how happy I was to hear someone out there actually telling my husband something along these lines, for the first time it seemed like he actually believed me. Hubby agrees with me a lot of the time, only thing he disagrees about ardently with me is that NK will potentially use EMP's, he thinks they'll just nuke some cities. I keep telling him what person would pee in the swimming pool they hope to inherit?? So I digress. Another challenge, hubby reads but barely. He barely even reads my texts, I have to keep them small if I want him to actually read it and comprehend it. Nothing against his iq/smarts or whatever, he just hates reading with a passion. If he talks to someone (especially someone he looks up to IE his current boss) that says something he will totally get it. But if I hand him articles he won't read them. (tried it)

Yes, very nice meeting you too. And a Very Merry Christmas to you and your family as well!
For the moment we live in a day of peace, but it shall not ever be thus. Great trials lie ahead... and we must prepare ourselves temporally and spiritually.
~Bruce R. McConkie~
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby Blondie » Tue Dec 05, 2017 7:27 pm

Glad to see you back posting!

Here's my 2 cents......stop trying so dang hard. Do what you need to do for yourself and your kids to keep you safe. Then just stop.

I've watched my girlfriends over the years run themselves into the ground doing everything. I mean everything but cutting up his food on his dinner plate. One of my friends had a massive heart attack at 42. She got up early every morning and fixed her DH's lunch before she went off to work herself. She was afraid he wouldn't know how to fix his own lunch.

Go take a class at a range. Learn a new skill. Spend time on a nature walk with the kids.

Just let it be. He may just find some new admiration for you. ;)
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby tamtbell » Tue Dec 05, 2017 8:09 pm

Hi blondie,
yeah I've been away for a while, this past summer was super busy. We expanded our rabbitry, we started an apiary, we built a huge wood shed, and we added to the garden.
The winter months I have more time. Plus this past weekend when I pulled out my BOB and then my sons, and then my hubby with a rather sour face says "where's mine??" Asked him right back "haven't you ever packed one?" which of course I got a mumbled "no" to followed with the excuse that "I had to use my backpack for another purpose" (no not really but I guess it sounded good at the time)
I actually ordered him a backpack on Monday (yet another one, we have several) along with lots of goodies in it. I intend to pack it all up, wrap it up and put it under the tree for Christmas. We shall see how long it stays together. lol

Actually I do know my hubby CAN fix his lunch, the issue usually is that he forgets it somewhere. lol Could be at home on the table, in his desk at work or in his car.
I have as of today started restudying on the ham tests. A long time ago I asked him to please take this one on. So now I'll do it. I'm in between college classes right now and the demands on my time from the Homeowners association that I'm President of have lessened some so...
For the moment we live in a day of peace, but it shall not ever be thus. Great trials lie ahead... and we must prepare ourselves temporally and spiritually.
~Bruce R. McConkie~
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby ReadyMom » Tue Dec 05, 2017 11:01 pm

dmwalsh568 wrote:One thing I forgot to mention - most of my directions are stored in ziplock style freezer bags to keep the moisture out. Obviously, I don't bother with that for 5 gallon buckets which are already waterproof, and the #10 cans are too big to bother with, but for the fish meds, oral rehydration solution, even the device manuals, I put the directions in a 1 gallon freezer bag and label the bag with a sharpie.
Sure, with laser printed directions this is probably overkill, but I used to have an inkjet and I'm worried that if the directions get soaked even the laser printed directions might become unreadable....and since I'm already planning for bad situations, I thought it would be prudent. (People I work with quickly learn to never ask me, what's the worst that can happen?) :evil:


Would you be interested in sharing those instructions with those of us who have wanted to do this, but have NOT? This is something that has been on my mind for a long time, but I just never got to it. We could start a separate thread. YOUR instructions might also be helpful as a template for others to work around or copy, for similar preps. :thumbsup:
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Re: How to get family around you motivated

Postby dmwalsh568 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 8:29 am

ReadyMom wrote:
dmwalsh568 wrote:One thing I forgot to mention - most of my directions are stored in ziplock style freezer bags to keep the moisture out. Obviously, I don't bother with that for 5 gallon buckets which are already waterproof, and the #10 cans are too big to bother with, but for the fish meds, oral rehydration solution, even the device manuals, I put the directions in a 1 gallon freezer bag and label the bag with a sharpie.
Sure, with laser printed directions this is probably overkill, but I used to have an inkjet and I'm worried that if the directions get soaked even the laser printed directions might become unreadable....and since I'm already planning for bad situations, I thought it would be prudent. (People I work with quickly learn to never ask me, what's the worst that can happen?) :evil:


Would you be interested in sharing those instructions with those of us who have wanted to do this, but have NOT? This is something that has been on my mind for a long time, but I just never got to it. We could start a separate thread. YOUR instructions might also be helpful as a template for others to work around or copy, for similar preps. :thumbsup:


I'm happy to share what I can. A lot of the instructions are just the original manuals stored with the gear. I really should put my experiences with them, but haven't done any of that yet.

For the Sterno camping stove I added a single sheet, saying to when food is cooked to cover the can with the lid to save the leftover fuel for the next meal.
For the fish meds, I just printed out a sheet I found on here that linked to Armageddon Medicine's Infection Workshop 2014 PDF and wrote a note to check the medical books in our library for more specific diagnoses - The Survival Medicine Handbook for diagnosis and treatment and the Physician's Desktop Reference for detailed drug info.
For the oral rehydration solution, I printed the formula then later added another sheet on dosing someone with small sips even if vomiting as it will still help, and for children if they aren't vomiting to give them one zinc tablet a day while treating with ORS to help with diarrhea.
For the pool shock, I stored detailed directions on how to make 1 gallon of bleach AND how to make a cup of bleach from the powder, since it's quite likely we don't need a full gallon at a time if we're just sanitizing filtered water.

Most importantly, anything I printed up I did in 18 point text since the older folks are starting to have vision issues and I don't want instructions to be unreadable because glasses are dirty or broken. And now that I say that, I really should print up some large print simple directions for the Berkey filters and the SunOven as soon as I can and then move onto the other gear in the basement...the original manuals can be a bit hard to read in poor lighting without magnification.

Writing this makes me realize I didn't print anything about making a sanitizing solution in case of pandemic - sure I know the ratio, but will my family? Guess I have work to do this weekend and I'll try to organize everything I can find and make up some files for here as time permits.

Ok, I definitely need to keep working on this as I'm sure that as I go along enhancing my documentation I'll think of other things....it really helps to explain this to others as it helps me remember what I know. ;)
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