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Homeless? Life After a House Fire.

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Re: Homeless? Life After a House Fire.

Postby rj5156 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:21 am

I'm all for voting with my consumer dollar. I suspect it is the only vote I can make that actually counts. It counts more when we all work together. It is not easy to know what we are supporting though. Now there is an app to help us see what we are supporting when we shop. How cool is that?!

This is why I buy lottery tickets now. The money goes to MY state. Odds are the winner will live in MY state and spend much of that money here too. Pretty cheap thrill to contribute at a meaningful level for the price of an occasional soda pop (which I do not normally drink anyhow). We all benefit. Where the lottery money goes with a link to find out about individual counties:

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/call ... e-money-go

Article with links to the app for iphone and android:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/clareoconno ... ping-cart/
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Re: Homeless? Life After a House Fire.

Postby rj5156 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:28 am

In Wisconsin they are actually catching the most seriously troubled kids when they hit the system - and they are HELPING them.

That success is being studied and built on. Wonder if what they are learning would help the rest of the criminal population or even help us KEEP troubled kids from becoming criminals? It might still be a dim light of hope but there had been no hope at all before.

Punishment fails us and we just have not had any other answers. There is some frightening evidence that sociopaths have a different brain structure than the rest of the population and efforts are ongoing to understand this better. It is looking like we might be able to develop those structures related to our ability to know and care about right and wrong and they sure are trying.

It just occurred to me that some of the applications might just help others break bad cycles. Because it is about breaking cycles at the heart of it all.

The program:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mendota ... er_Program

The ongoing work:
http://modlab.yale.edu/news/can-psychopaths-be-cured
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Re: Homeless? Life After a House Fire.

Postby rj5156 » Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:33 am

Back to the difficult people topic. Beyond just band aids of addressing the common types this round.

Bad behaviour, drama and acting out can sure cover a load of vulnerability, fear and mixed feelings underneath. Nothing can get better as long as someone feels like they are living in a double-bind I think, and perhaps many of us are, at various levels.

Years of therapy for antisocial issues and a lot of hard life hits left me looking at actions, beliefs, values, logic and feelings. These are all valid things. We act from different ones in different situations.

If someone is not being faithful and true to THEMSELVES that betrayal is perhaps the hardest to live with.

Once we feel very bad about our actions we are overwhelmed by the enormity of it all and cannot even think about how we will have to forgive ourselves to move on. So mostly it is a negative, downward spiral. It destroys self-esteem and without self-esteem we feel we deserve less and tend to become more destructive. This might describe where a difficult person lives inside?

And I have a very hard time getting past how I feel about violations of my values and boundaries to look at where someone else might actually be in all that. But if I do not try then I am surely one of the difficult people too;)

It might be worth considering exactly where our line in the sand is and what we are willing to do if it is crossed. Then if that line is crossed we do not have to try to decide what we will do when we are least able to make good choices.

Hope for the best and work hard for that! Plan for the worst and hope it is not needed.

Thing is once we are decided and prepared people can tell. Much less likely to have to follow through once we resolve that we can and will do something if need be. Strange but I have seen this over and over in my life.

I am trying to say that if we know the limit of abuse we can afford to take and what we can do when that limit is exceeded then WE GET PEACE! Mostly it is never about us anyhow. Just a reflection of a troubled soul's life experiences.

Our self-respect is not just trampled forever - and it turns a tide. It becomes about boundaries and limits for our well-being because we deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

And our peace helps everything else.

Should have put that first maybe? And if we can find a way to approach a difficult situation from the perspective of valuing ourselves and seeking what is good in a "difficult" person maybe we can get a more positive outcome?

I got all the last bit from my work at http://www.recoverynation.com/main/sa.php trying to get past a marriage to a child pornography addict. It may have saved me.

They have programs for sexual addicts and also for the people who have become involved with them. I think the program would help with ANY addiction and the underlying issues are likely universal across all addictions?

I cannot say enough good things about these folks. They are reaching out to those most in need when our culture ignores or throws them away and then pretends there are no victims.
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